Gluten-Free Ramblings: Week 1

When I had initially written my first blog post on Gluten Free”, I sat on it for a few days before publishing. Not that I have a mass following, but I think it might post to facebook too, and that felt about as “putting yourself out there” as those dreams where you find yourself walking into class naked.  I wanted to be sure I was really on board with going GF and I felt like “putting it out there” would put it more in stone.

Nope.

I actually felt really awkward about putting so much personal information out there and advertising it. Not immediately but more while I was out, away from my computer and couldn’t do squat about it.

Anyway….My mind has been through the wringer this past week. Tuesday, 9/16 was my first official “Gluten Free” day. I posted the blog the following Friday. In the mean time, my mind had gone every which way, up down and sideways, knowing it is what I need to do for my health but feeling a lot of guilt over the added expense it becomes to grocery shop (shout out to Aldi and their “LiveGFree” line- more on that later), guilt over new challenge I/we face while going out, and toss in a smidgen of self-pity mixed with “I have no idea what I am doing, I am seemingly now always ravenous, what the heck can I eat”, and it pretty much made a perfect storm of mental chaos. My mind was in complete “obsess” mode. I get a bit obsessey about food anyway if I have to think about what I am eating as it is, but I was a bit nervous this might push me a bit too far and I’d end up not quite where I wanted to be on that end as well.

Until last night. All of a sudden, my mind was at peace. Calm. Quiet. We were on a walk and I was there on a walk with the kids and my husband. Physically I was on that walk, mentally I was on that walk. I was there running, laughing, chasing, smiling, feeling and having fun. I haven’t felt really embedded into a moment and not distracted like that in a while.  I believe it was God giving me my answer. It was like the question (gf/no gf) no longer existed. The worry, stress and weight was gone. It will all get figured out as it needs to. So it’s done. And I am on board and contently so. Trying to ignore the Costco blueberry muffin calling my name in the cabinet.

This week on my Gluten Free journey, I have learned:
+ Aldi’s Gluten Free line (“Live Gfree”)  has yet to disappoint….granted all I have tried is the pizza dough, “Hot Pockets”,tortillas and pasta (could NOT taste the difference with sauce) .I made the pizza crust earlier in the week so I had something for pizza night. The box made 2 crusts. One I saved for pizza night, the other I have been using for bread with soup (Again with Aldi- their “Simply Nature” Lentil soup was quite tasty too!). My husband could not tell the difference between my crust and store-bought. I call it a success!! The tortillas I could tell were not the same as flour tortillas, but they still satisfied my shredded-colby-cheese-and-pepperoni-wrap addiction.
+Cooking: I am doing a bit more cooking than I was. I am trying to plan ahead (premade pizza crusts!) and get some of the things I can make ahead done during naptime. I am, thankfully, finding cooking relaxing again. At least this week. Thanks to my neighbor’s thoughtfulness, I now have an awesome GF cookbook holding the secret to making “Real Sandwich Bread”, “Old-Fashioned Birthday Cake” and “New York-Style Pizza”.
+ENERGY!!  I almost forgot- my energy has been improving. I am in no way complaining, and yes, I am knocking on wood for this one.
+Less stress (anxiety?)….I feel more calm and better able to take things that would normally test my patience with a lot less seriousness. I am more able to not “sweat the small stuff”. I feel nicer. Calmer.  More of the mom I want to be. My mind seems calmer and quieter too, helping me to stay “in the present”.
+There is a new sense of excitement when I look on the back of something and see “Naturally Gluten-Free” stamped right there, in all of its helpful glory. It’s like my soul smiles.
+I almost feel like I didn’t realize how bad I was feeling or how good I could feel until just very recently. Hopefully this continues.
+ I have some of the most supportive, encouraging and thoughtful friends on the planet!
+I am hoping to make my own breads and flours and what not. I think it makes more sense to do that than to spend $6 on a loaf of “bread” that I have heard mixed reviews about.
At the beginning of this journey, I did have some headaches. Sunday I didn’t have a chance to drink my coffee before church. That ended up being borderline migraine, so back to coffee I went in the afternoon. Glad I did. It’s pretty delicious. Day 4 and 5 I had hives, which I read was from the toxins (in this case, gluten?) trying to get out of your system. My medicine seemed to feel stronger for a day or two too, but thankfully that balanced itself out before the heart palpitations stayed and freaked me out. Then I stopped paying attention, figuring if something needed my attention it would jump out at me. I seem to have survived thus far.

I think what I really am most surprised about is the energy and patience. During the day, I am up and doing things during the kids’ naptime, not feeling like I need a mental (or physical) break. I ran again this week for the first time in far too long. I paid no attention to time or distance. Just ran to run. Even though I was on a treadmill, it felt so freeing. 33 weeks to the next Half Marathon. Hopefully I still feel this way when it is time to start training again.

So, that in a nutshell sums up week 1. Learning curve for sure, but it feels so much more do-able than it did. Between “One day at a time” and focusing on what I can have rather than what I can’t, I am starting to find my way.

Until next time!

Gluten Free…

Yep. Here we are.

Going Gluten-Free…something I initially thought was, for some, medically necessary and a diet or lifestyle choice for others.

Until recently. Recently I was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease: Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (or “Hashi’s” as some refer to it). That was what was causing my thyroid to be on the fritz and my test results to show I am hypothyroid. My white blood cells are attacking my thyroid, causing it to become underactive. What does gluten have to do with the thyroid?

“ What explains the connection? It’s a case of mistaken identity. The molecular structure of gliadin, the protein portion of gluten, closely resembles that of the thyroid gland. When gliadin breaches the protective barrier of the gut, and enters the bloodstream, the immune system tags it for destruction. These antibodies to gliadin also cause the body to attack thyroid tissue. This means if you have AITD [Autoimmune Thyroid Disease] and you eat foods containing gluten, your immune system will attack your thyroid.
Even worse, the immune response to gluten can last up to 6 months each time you eat it. This explains why it is critical to eliminate gluten completely from your diet if you have AITD. There’s no “80/20″ rule when it comes to gluten. Being “mostly” gluten-free isn’t going to cut it. If you’re gluten intolerant, you have to be 100% gluten-free to prevent immune destruction of your thyroid.” According to (http://chriskresser.com/the-gluten-thyroid-connection)

This explains why when I was on medication for hypothyroidism to help me, my levels fluctuated and went from 4.6 all the way up to 14 in July!! (The cut off for healthy thyroid is 3). Turns out it wasn’t anything I did, but my body attacked my thyroid causing the levels to be elevated. This also explains why there have been so many times I could swear I was pregnant (yet clearly wasn’t) from the random bouts of nausea and fatigue that comes and goes. There have been a few “light bulb” moments between the Hashi’s and now suspected gluten sensitivity that is feeding the Hashi’s and caused by these fluctuations and attacks.

It’s a bit scary when you’re doctor tells you it’s autoimmune and you begin to fully realize what that means. Initially, I was relieved that it was not the result of a doctor putting me on a medication unnecessarily due to a simple lab variance. I learned that it wasn’t my fault, someone else’s fault, or anything that I could have prevented. That part made me feel better. However, from what I am told, having one autoimmune disease opens the door to developing other autoimmune diseases down the line (think: celiac disease, lupus, MS, rheumatoid arthritis, type 1 diabetes, and the list goes on). It is slightly unsettling to not know what the future holds in regards to this, knowing I want to live a long and full life with minimal ailments (don’t we all?!) but I am not letting myself dwell. From what I understand, if I can keep this Hashimoto’s at bay and under control and stop or slow down the attack on my thyroid (through the GF diet- which helps the immune system not attack the thyroid cells.) and keep up with my medications (that helps with the hypothyroidism and not the immune system) and blood work, then hopefully it will keep my autoimmune system settled and at bay and not develop further autoimmune diseases or worsening of the one I have.

Apparently, going gluten free is not simple and is a complete lifestyle overhaul- one that is black and white, 100% all in or not, as they said above- there is no 80%/20%.. Cross-contamination becomes an issue with gluten. You need a separate colander, cutting board, etc- one for gluten and one for gluten-free. I just listened to a webinar and learned that the amount of gluten needed to cause a reaction of the immune system, triggering an attack on the thyroid, is 1/1,000. So, if you order a salad and it comes with croutons, and you pick the croutons off and the amount that is left behind is enough to trigger a reaction. Intimidating to say the least.

The more I research the “hows” after the “whys” I am beginning to see what a huge overhaul this is and affects people around me too. It also means completely adopting a new way of eating. Many of my go-to’s are off-limits. Thankfully though, if I look to the bright side, it is fall and there are a plethora of gluten-free soups that sound delicious and cozy. It is going to require planning, preparation and adopting a new way of doing things food-wise, but if it improves my quality of life and keeps my body from doing more damage or developing new and more debilitating (and more costly) autoimmune diseases as time goes on, then I don’t really see what I have to lose.

I want to be around for my kids and husband. I want to be healthy and be able to be active with not only Jeremy (who can outrun me for days, but I’d like to be able to keep up with him at some point! =) and the kids, but one day our grandchildren too.

It is going to be hard and, admittedly, I am being my own cheerleader. If I am being honest, it sounds like a big pain in the butt and total commitment to do this. Wouldn’t it be easier to just stay on the medication, hope it’s enough and stay the course without change? Sure. But I am starting to see and think about “the bigger picture”. I don’t want to hope it is enough and end up with a worsened thyroid or 20 years from now developing another, possibly more debilitating, autoimmune disease. Because once the switch of an autoimmune disease turns on, so to speak, it can’t be turned off. I am still learning and, like everything and everyone, will learn as I go. It sounds like the first few days can be rough as your body “detoxes” for lack of a better word. Preparing myself for that. But also living and looking forward to and eager for a life full of health and happiness with the ones I love =)