Weekend!

So, I think I’m going to start blogging once a week, like a weekend-recap type of thing…we’ll see how this goes and how many weeks in a row I remember to do so….

This weekend went well! Let’s see…Friday I had Sarah and it was a good day. Noah and Sarah seemed to get along really well and the day was just kind of…relaxing. Westin’s tooth is getting bigger and I’m sure one is right around the corner!  We had plans to head on over to the Haag’s when we got home from/done with work and I was relieved to see that Jeremy’s sister had made it home from Outer Banks in time to beat Irene.   Noah gets so excited to see his aunts and uncle. And his grandparents. On both sides. I swear, our boys are so loved by our families, it just makes me all warm and fuzzy!!

Saturday we went to the Lorain County Fair. Which was…interesting. Fair food is just one thing I will never understand. I hear people get excited for Elephant Ears, Funnel Cakes, fried this or that, french fries…I just don’t get it. Maybe because I never really go when I’m hungry so I never get the urge to try such things. Well, the french fries I can understand, but I digress.  Noah sort of had fun seeing the animals. I think he had more fun/showed more interest when my parents and Meg and us all went to the Cuyahoga County Fair. We decided we were just at this fair to see the animals and not to have Noah ride rides.  Partly because our double stroller is close to impossible to manuver and we were about done trying to manuver through that crowd with that beast on wheels…and because we knew we’d be headed to N.Olmsted’s homecoming the next day.  We walked into the turkey barn and I swear, I think I might just skip the turkey this Thanksgiving. Of course I always say to myself that I’m done with meat after I see the cows and feel sorry for them. Though, to be honest, I just don’t get how people can raise them and then be like “Alright kids, we’re having some Ol’ Bessy burgers for dinner tonight”.  Like who has to be the guy to go and do…everything you have to do to get them from pasture to plate? OK, this is getting gruesome, I’m moving on…back to turkeys…as we were walking through the turkey section, they all (I kid you not- I do mean all) stood up and puffed out their feathers and turned around  and I don’t know why but it completely freaked me out. Literally anxious in a barn freaked out. I still can’t tell you why, but it is what it is. That, and their gobblers (which, really, what is the purpose?) are so darn ugly! Poor turkeys.  Then after that, we were in the cow, horse and goat section.  Then I got all freaked out that a cow or horse was going to kick. It would be pretty easy for them to do so since they are all facing the other way. I seriously don’t know why I got all freaked out over farm animals this time. I love fairs. I think because you had to walk down a narrow-ish aisle and it would be a dead-end and you’d have to turn around. That’s all I can come up with. Either way, so not me at all, but maybe people just get weirder as they get older. Luckily Noah came through and told us he wanted to go home after finding out he wasn’t going on rides and had no interest in the animals.   So, not having to deal with tantrums about not wanting to leave was nice. It was just replaced by whining that we weren’t leaving fast enough. LOL.  Night time went well. Westin only cried for 10 minutes, then I went in and comforted him and he didn’t make it another 5 before he was out. Then he was back up at 1 and 4, our old routine, which is fine with me. I just feel like 3 times might be a little excessive! Noah went to bed well and didn’t wake me up until the morning. I seriously felt so calm and well rested this morning!

This morning I was enjoying just laying in bed listening to Westin’s happy conversation with his mobile. Sometimes he goes back to sleep and sometimes not. Noah came in my room to wake me up, he also told me very excitedly that Westin was awake.  I can’t remember what I said after, but it was as I was stretching and talking quietly because Jeremy was still asleep. Apparently it sounded like I was crying because Noah put his hand on my arm and so tenderly and softly asked “why you crying, Momma?” as he’s rubbing my arm with his little thumb. It was a great way to start the morning with such a sweet and caring greeting. Followed by Westin’s huge gummy grin and excited kicks, completely made the fact that I had to drink the instant-stir kind of coffee this morning so much better. We ran out of coffee maker coffee, so out of desparation, I dug out the good ol’ instant kind. I knew I saved it for a reason. Emergency only coffee is what I will call it now. Then we headed to Lowes and got a new house plant, got some lunch and headed to the “Hooray” which is what Noah calls parades. We met up with my parents to watch, which was fun. My mom commented on how for 7 years, they came to see my sister and me in the parades, and never even thought about how she would be doing it as a grandma…or should I say Puma.  Noah was so excited to see the band. He loves marching bands and the tubas, trombones, drums, symbols, he can name them all! It was like he was star struck to see those high schoolers marching by with their instruments. High schoolers, who by the way, look so so so young to me now. He also loved the dancers and their loud music. He has some sort of pelvic-thrust move that Jeremy and I both were like “Um…where did you learn that Noah?” but then we decided it was him trying to hula hoop. Then we told him to shake his tail, which was side to side so it looked a little more appropriate. He did his breakdance at  one point too. I just love that kid. After the “hooray” we went and waited in line for tickets. Of course gPa comes sneaking up with a wrist band for him for limitless rides. We were there for at least 3 hours. He had a blast and finally wanted to try the Ferris Wheel, the little one for kids. I have never seen this poor boy so scared. He was literally shaking at the top he was so scared he kept saying “I’m scared momma” and there was nothing I could do but say “It’s OK, it’ll be over soon” and “you’re being so brave, you’re almost done”.  He was leaning forward and the car was rocking and it was scaring ME. Luckily the ride lady saw him shaking and telling me this for the second time and she let him off and the other kids still got to ride for a bit after he got off.  We made it through the entire day without a nap, and without meltdown. All the way to bedtime. I was beyond surprised, because when he gets tired, he lets you know! We watched Toy Story when we came home and after he got ready for bed. Then, of course, he wanted his Buzz and Woody…..they were in the garage in a box, still packed with other toys. You would think it was Christmas morning in this house! He was so excited to see some of his old toys again!  We also cheered on Westin to practice his rolling over. I love how these boys love eachother!  After Toy Story, we headed up to bed. Westin made great progress and didn’t really even cry, more just fussed himself to sleep on and off for not even 10 minutes tonight. Woot! And, after stories, Noah headed straight to bed and fell asleep. Tonight was way too easy, but instead of wondering if it’s going to bite me in the butt at some point, I’m just enjoying it. I got good use out of the huge and fun soaking tub, which was nice!  Hopefully Hurricaine Irene doesn’t make things too crazy for Jeremy and the rest of the “Pro-Techians” this week!

Tomorrow the boys have their appointments for their check-ups and shots.  Should be interesting to see how much they’ve both grown! I’ve never done a two-for-one (2 kids 1 co-pay!) shots day before, so this could be interesting. Hopefully Westin’s reaction was a one-time thing and he’ll be a little trooper this time. I hate even thinking about it. Noah too, though he’s never really had any reactions or anything, it still sucks to have to do it.  Then, the rest of this week is a Sarah week.  It’s funny the way God works, and right when I start thinking about baby fever again, I have 4 days of 3 under 3, which should put me in my place pretty quickly!! At least the week will go by fast, and we should be getting our kitchen/dining room table “the beginning of September”….so that should be soon! Woot!

And a Happy 30th Birthday to my sister, Meghan!! If you lived closer I would be putting 30 big flamingos in your front yard. (Or I would have ordered them to be done had I thought of it before this very second!) We love you! =)

Thanks for checking in and sticking with me to the end here.  They get all long and wordy before I even realize it! Stay tuned and we’ll see what happens next weekend! =)

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Wow. It’s been far too long. I think I start every blog like that, or with words to that effect….

Well, we’re here. We’ve been in our new house for what will be a month next week. I find that incredibly hard to believe.  Time goes even faster the busier you get. (Duh). We’re still waiting on furniture and I can’t tell you how great it will be when our dining room/kitchen table gets here and we can have a family meal together and actually ALL sit down!  And, not to mention a new couch to accommodate any company we have comfortably. Though when it’s mommy friends, somehow we always wind up on the floor playing anyway. Hmm… I also can’t believe how long it takes to really unpack. If the boxes are still packed 6 months from now, I think I’ll take it as a hint, de-clutter and get rid of it and move on!

Noah picked his room, the smallest one- but it did have train decals on the walls, so I kinda figured that’s where he’d go! Besides, he just sleeps in there (or at least that’s our goal everyday…more about that in another paragraph…) and has a playroom up and down stairs, so no issues there. Westin’s room is still pink. We put decorative sporty wall stuff up to try and “boy it up” a little, but pink is pink. I’m torn between just leaving it and setting his permanent room up in the playroom (which is blue) just in case we find ourselves needing a pink bedroom, or have fun making it his. But why go through all the trouble of UN-doing pink just to have to Re-pink?  Just joking. Sort of. 

We finally have our washer and dryer (that’s a blog for another day) and I swear, they are the best inventions ever. Try living for 2 weeks with 2 kids without a set. Seriously makes you appreciate it a little more. I don’t think I’ve complained about having to fold clothes yet, so that’s a bonus!

We have some great neighbors and I’ve made some pretty cool mommy friends. I know Noah and Westin love the playmates too! It’s nice to be able to have friends over and not have to worry about space and feeling like you’re all on top of each other, even if you do all end up on the floor anyway. It’s just nice to be with friends in general. I guess no matter where, but that doesn’t really fit the theme of this blog.  It helps that I do have some great friends and it continues to amaze me that it doesn’t matter how much time passes between get-togethers or seeing one another, it never makes it awkward or weird, you just kind of pick up where ya left off like you saw each other last week or something. 

Tonight ended up being the night. Evidently the “lay down the law” of bedtime (lay…no pun intended) for both of my boys. Westin is still waking up 3 times a night, he’s up long enough to really eat once out of the 3 times, and the other two? well, I just think he can’t fall asleep without nursing himself there. I told myself it would be different with number two and I would always put him to bed drowsy but awake….fail. At first I thought he was too young, so I worried about that. Then I felt bad because at the old house Noah would be playing and it would end up being too loud for him to get himself to sleep fairly (seriously, like i said, it was a small place!), so once we got here, I thought for sure I’d be all over it. Then he started cutting teeth. Then I realized I’m just doing what I do best for the most part: procrastinating. No, crying can’t kill your kid but it sure as hell rips your heart out to hear them doing so, and knowing you could just snuggle and give him a boob and he’d be out. It turned out that he only cried for 10 minutes and after me going in to reassure him and give him back his giraffe to snuggle, he whimpered for a bit and fell right asleep. I know people have their opinions on this, and thanks to that and Google I feel more guilty than I did- or at least than I remember-when I did it for Noah. In my opinion? He turned out fine. Well, better than fine if you ask me =) And, it’s not those people that did or would do it differently with their kid that are getting up 3 times a night to put Westin to sleep. That, and I am his parent afterall, so yeah.  I give peoples negative opinions too much power in my life. (another great blog idea for another day…)And getting up 3 times a night is a good night lately. For some reason Noah’s been waking up suddenly. Hopefully that’s over with now and was a thing of last week. If he could sleep through that storm we had last night, then really? what’s the problem. Seriously I thought I’d be up all night again thanks to my kids not the storm, and somehow, Noah surprises me (like he does a lot!) and sleeps through the whole darn thing. I on the other hand? was on tornado patrol and when I saw that we were under a tornado watch until 5 AM, I knew it’d be an extra-cup-of-coffee kind of day greeting me when my day officially started. Tonight’s battle was somehow just getting him to sleep. 2, almost 2 1/2 year olds are great,great stallers. He pulls out every trick in the book. Then other nights (more often than not, thank goodness!) he climbs in his bed after stories and goes right to sleep. I’ll figure it out one day.

I think that about sums things up for us lately….new house, awesome friends, summer is somehow winding down to a close, and I can’t remember the last weekend we had open to just do nothing. Not that I’m complaining…remember that whole awesome friends thing? =) But, it does make summer go a little too fast…though I can’t say I won’t enjoy the *slightly* cooler weather and changing of the leaves. Fall has its pros too. And cons. But then again, so does everything and I’m trying to stay positive, so we’ll leave it at that. =) Good night and thanks for catching up with us!

Home Is Where The Heart Is

I know I haven’t blogged in quite some time. I’ve been too busy packing and keeping secrets about moving in fear of jinxing something somewhere along the way. But, read on and you’ll quickly be caught up in what’s going on in our lives….

Well, we did it. We made it. Four long years house hunting through various cities and situations and we finally bought our home.  I still remember meeting our realtor (who stuck by us through EVERY up and down, surprise, rejection, and drama!).  Little did any of us know how long this road was going to be and just how many twists, turns, bumps and potholes there would be along the way. But, if you don’t work for what you have, then what’s the point. The sweat and stress really made everything that much more gratifying when all things finally came together.  (Remind me of this when the literal sweat is coming and we’re moving in tomorrow….;). There were so many houses we thought we “loved” but each time SOMETHING came up, or some random act of fate would come into play. But, I see now why that was. We held out, or were forced to hold out in some situations, for the perfect house for us.  And now it’s finally done. We-not without great stress and panic on my part about closing on time,  signed our papers, got our keys, and we are home owners. On our way to make so many memories with our family in the new house.

One of the bedrooms has train decals on the wall…Noah saw this and about died. It goes perfectly with his Thomas the Tank Engine comforter. When our parents came to see the house tonight for the first time, he would get so excited and the only thing he could say is “come see my trains!”.   We’ve been packing, he’s been helping. We’ve been counting down days, and talking about and explaining how we’re going to live in a new house. And a truck is going to come and get all of the boxes and our beds and toys and take them to the new house. This much he understands. He’ll tell you himself. Now, whether his two year old mind can actually comprehend what that all means, I’m not too sure. Tonight after bringing just a few boxes over, and after playing with the grandparents for a while and exploring his new digs, it was time to go. Puma’s and grandpa’s had already left. He looked sad and seemed to withdraw a little. He said he wanted to go home. I hadn’t worried about him and the whole move too much until this point.  I’m really hoping that after some sleep and after having our stuff there, he will be able to feel better about everything. He really surprised me with the adjustment to Westin. Maybe he will again, but I hate to expect too much. Hopefully he’ll think having a yard is great and meet some new friends. He’ll have a place to practice pedaling his bike, and maybe I’ll even break down and put the darn bell on, to make our new house fun and not so scary.

One thing I have learned from this whole 4-year ordeal is that as much as I might want to, I am in no way capable of controlling everything. For one thing, it would make life pretty boring if that were the case. Sure, it might make me a little more agreeable at the time, but I’m working on that. I’m trying to adopt a new way of thinking. In that I cannot always change or control the situations that I am given, but I CAN change the way I look at them and/or how I react to them. So, that being said……tomorrow’s moving day. It might be stressful. That’s  OK. I’m prepared for that. I’m just hoping I remember to take an extra dose of patience tomorrow. We have great people helping us out, and they are doing us favors, and we appreciate it so, so, so much.  Just because it’s stressful isn’t any reason to be grumpy. Exhausted or not, overwhelmed or not (OH! now that I typed that, I really think that is the kicker for me…feeling overwhelmed………another one of those “I can change how I deal with it” types of things….). Everything in its own time. Everything will get done. I just need to have faith, let go, and fear not. Go with the flow. Breathe deep. I’m prepared for stress so hopefully I can use it constructively and apply it to my new personal self-improvement theories. I just need to be more like Jeremy. He’s so great. I love him so much and I’m so happy that I have him and we are on life’s great adventure together forever!! And, when the day is done, there is a rather large soaking tub I’ve been just dreaming about and dying to try!!! It’s going to feel oh SO good to actually relax and not feel like the Jolly Green Giant crammed in a kid’s bathtub!

Speaking of the new house, I’d better get some sleep while I can before the big move, and before second-wind and/or a new bout of excitement hit. Or a child wakes up…..

I would have posted pictures, but of course, the loading dock to the camera, and the wires, are all packed…… but I’ll be sure and add them as soon as I can! =)

Until then, goodnight all!!

Play Ball!!

Wow. I’m pretty sure that today, this one single day, has made Noah’s entire year, and is a day that he won’t forget for a long, long time. Noah went to his first Indians game with his Grandpa (Jeremy’s dad), Jeremy and Me. It’s a really neat feeling to be so excited for your child. The whole way to pick up Jeremy’s dad and head to the game, I was just beaming with excitement for Noah and what he was about to experience.  I think that beats the feeling of being excited for yourself. By a lot. Then, once we got there, seeing Noah walking hand in hand with Jeremy, looking all around the stadium and taking it all in, just seeing the wonder and amazement in a child’s eyes, in my child’s eyes, brought tears to my own eyes. I’m very emotional like that since having children, apparently.

We walked all around the lower level, not only taking advantage of as much shade as we possibly could, but also showed Noah the different views of the field.  Noah got his first official MLB baseball hat today, and boy does he love it. I am really surprised he didn’t ask to sleep in it. He wouldn’t take it off all game (which is good- his face needed the shade) and it could quite possibly be the new favorite head-wear, giving the McQueen bike helmet a second-place in line. He just loves it!  

On our way to our seats, post hat purchase, Noah and Jeremy got  a picture in front of the field, and it is totally going into a frame. 

Jeremy and Noah in front of the field

Anyway…It was a sunny-not-a-cloud-in-the-sky, 90+ degree day, but there were shady spots in the stadium that felt really breezy and good. By the time we got to our seats we were all already starting to sweat. I was already paranoid mom, trying to cram as much hydration into Noah as possible, and applying the third coat of sunscreen before the beginning of the first inning. Then it came time for the National Anthem and that was the only time since the purchase of that hat that I have seen him without his hat. Of course the National Anthem made me teary too, as it does at any and every sporting event. 

Once we sat down, I was waiting for him to become antsy and want to get up and explore.  My father-in-law brought binoculars and boy oh boy, were they a hit! Noah could not get enough of them. There’s no telling what he could see, but he sure loved holding them to his face! 

Noah and the binoculars

He did not get the least bit antsy. He just sat there, watching the game, taking it all in, and absolutely loved clapping with the drum and cheering whenever the crowd cheered.  He also loved talking about and looking for Slider.  About two innings in, I took Noah into the shady part of the stadium to cool of a bit. Granted we weren’t gone long and we just took a bathroom break, filled up water bottles, and took a short walk, it was really really nice and special to just be with him. It hasn’t been just he and I in a long time. Well, 12 weeks to be exact! 😉 About half way though the game, Noah says “Where’s Wessin?” I thought it was cute that he asks about his brother. We watched a few more innings and then all of us went into the shade.  We found a pitching station, where you pay a dollar and get three balls to throw at a target and they clock your speed. Of course I had to video Noah’s three throws. He actually hit the target twice!! When the crowd would clap for him, he got so excited and would clap too! So cute. Of course he didn’t throw fast enough to register on the radar (I think it had to be at least 30 mph), it was still awesome none the less. Then, later on our journey throughout the stadium, we ran into the hot dogs….From our seats, he thought they were the best things ever! In person? Terror in a bun. All three: Ketchup, Mustard and Onion. From that point on, he was too scared to walk, because as it seemed, wherever we went, there they were!

After the game, we got to run the bases, and I’m not sure who had more fun with this…Noah or us. There was a long line and long wait after the game. It was kind of neat to see behind the scenes. I think a tour of the stadium would be kind of cool. Anyway, I was so scared that we would have waited in line for so long, only to have a dressed up hot dog or Slider on the field and have Noah refuse to walk, let alone run, the bases. Luckily, there was not a costumed human to be found. I tried to get some video of the base running, and I did, but the memory on my camera was full, so I think we made it to first base and that’s all the footage I got. Darn it. I felt like the paparazzi, literally running after them with my camera. I accidentally stepped on the grass in all my giddy excitement and got yelled at. As we rounded second base, there was a real baseball player there (someone Smith, I can’t remember what Jeremy says his first name is). I was surprised! Then, at first base, the general manager was there to give the kids high-fives!  None of us could believe that Noah made it through all the innings and was still awake and cooperative enough to run the bases.  On our walk back to the car, Noah says “I want to go to a baseball game. Again.”

After the game, we went back to Jeremy’s parents’ house and recounted our day and got reunited with Westin! It was a big day for him too- first time away from Mom, Dad and Noah, and he did great! I was glad to hear it. I knew he was in good hands, I just missed him. I had a hard time putting his snuggly baby self to bed tonight.  What a great, great day. And, as a bonus, there was not a meltdown to be had all day. Color me shocked. I know he just absolutely loved today as well. It was just so cool to watch him experience it. And, tonight, he fell asleep before I could even finish the story of “The Little Gingerbread Boy”. Now, he’s sound asleep, probably dreaming about baseball, base running and pitching, all the things that little boys dream of.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

“Noah, please share your toys.” “Hands to yourself please, Noah.” “Noah, we don’t grab toys from our friends.” “Ask nicely” “Please stop whining.” “That’s not how we ask for things nicely.” Lather, rinse, repeat…… Noah with Sarah seriously reminds  me of my older sister and me growing up. So, does that mean when Noah’s off to college they will finally become friends? I’m not so confident, I’m sure I get to go through all of this again when Westin’s walking around, and then THEY can finally be friends when Noah goes off to college. Although, maybe that’s just girls. Maybe boys are different. They’ll probably forget about whatever they were just fighting about and agree to disagree so they have someone to play catch with or something. If my parents were home and not on vacation, I would have called my mom just to apologize for all the times I fought with my sister. they’re not home. So instead, I facebook’ed her.

Not only am I finding myself having to repeat myself more than usual lately, but I’m also finding Noah really exploring his world and insisting on doing things for himself.  Getting into his car seat and buckling the buckles, getting on and off the potty by himself, brushing his teeth, and pretty much any and everything these days.

Then there are the times I ask him to do something for me and a nice, non-whiney, polite “OK” comes out of his mouth.  Or when he wants to hold or play with Westin “just because”. Or when he bursts out into Taylor Swift’s “Mean” “Someday Aaaa-be libin in big ol cee-ey……why you gotta be so mean” (very high singing voice on the ‘mean’ mind you) (And, that translates to: “Someday I’ll be living in a big old city…”), that happens to be one of my favorites.  He’s just such a kid now and I don’t know how this all happened so fast.  He really WAS at one point a baby like Westin. I have pictures to prove it. But, somewhere between his birth, moving, changing jobs, life, and another baby, it all just zoomed right by! There was no “pause” button. It just…happened.  His imagination is just blossoming as is his comprehension from things we read, and a growing memory from every and anything he sees, hears, or experiences.  Like a coloring book he got for Christmas last year….somehow, he remembered that there were stickers in it. Before I gave it to him.  I swear he remembers things from before he could talk. It blows my mind.

What’s also really cool (or really scary, depending on the situation) is when you had no clue that he was even paying attention then he repeats your words like a parrot. Or copies your mannerisms, or says the same things to Westin that you do “It’s OK Westin, we’re almost home” he says when his brother is screaming in the car……even if we haven’t even left the neighborhood yet.

Kids are just cool. I think that about sums it up.  They can drive you completely crazy one minute, then undo it all with a dimpled smile, a hug, or a “Ovv you”

Life is a Fairytale

So I’m learning that fairytales don’t always go smoothly, according to plan, or always the way we originally want them to go. So we think…

We are in the process of buying our first home. (I was trying to keep it a secret in fear of jinxing something by spilling the beans….me and secrets don’t always mix, so here I blog.) Anyway, all of our ducks are in order, we’ve worked our tails off and here we are. Moving forward. Or standing still…We fell in love with a house. I happened to fall HARD for this one. Not just this one, but THE one. As it turned out, it was both of our favorites. A split level, completely remodeled, the boys rooms PERFECT colors, with built-ins, and Noah’s room with a window seat with built-in toy boxes. So, we got excited, made our offer, negotiated, and everyone was finally on the same page. We all held our breaths during the inspection and I prayed “OK, God, if it’s going to fall apart or not work out, let this be where we lose it” followed by praying that we DIDN’T lose it and “please let this be our house”…..so when the inspection came back without any major hitches, we went on about our business, fully planning on moving in July. And I continued to picture our lives there, and thinking daily “I can’t wait for that yard and swing set!” especially on Sarah days!! Then came the appraisal. Damn you FHA. It came up short. A lot short. To say I was crushed is a complete understatement.  “Don’t worry, it will all work out.” “You’ll find a house that’s even better, or more perfect for you guys”. I didn’t want better. I didn’t want more perfect. This WAS perfect. Once we had Noah in there while our parents gave it the once over and approval, and I saw him running around, I could easily see how our days and lives would play out there. I had already mentally moved in and placed our furniture. We’ve made one more “meet in the middle” offer (which ended up being pretty darn close to our orignal offer) but I’m pretty sure I have to say goodbye to this house and trust that it didn’t work out for a reason.

When one door closes, another one opens. I’m excited to find the one we’re supposed to get just as (if not more)excited about and ACTUALLY take possession and move in.   There is a reason it didn’t work out. That reason isn’t for me to figure out. I may never know, and that’s fine. My job is to just trust that the real “one” will be even better and more perfect.

Like I said, to say I was crushed is a complete understatement. And, the paragraph you just read is not so typical me. Until I started thinking of it like love and life. Sometimes you go through life and things get you down, and you can’t help but think “what was I thinking?!” “why me?”  or “what purpose does this serve?”… but once you live life and get to where you are truly meant to be and really do meet “the one” (in my case, Jeremy), it all comes together, and you realize that everything before that made you a stronger person, built your character,  was completely worth it and a big ol’ learning experience.  To be where I have been, to come back from what I have been, and to be living how I am now is a complete turn around from what it once was.  All because I am supposed to be Mommy to Noah and Westin, and Jeremy and I are meant to be forever and ever (there was some serious Bally Total Fitness fate there…. =). At the end of the day, I am a lucky woman to be Mommy to Noah and Westin and to lay my head on my pillow, next to Jeremy’s. Something I do consider a fairytale, regardless of where our pillows end up! =) As long as our children are happy and healthy, and our pillows are together, I’m good! 😉 I’m excited to see where we end up!!

Patience and Pacifiers

I should blog. It’s been a while. I’m trapped under a baby who refuses to do just about anything but eat today, or smile and coo for his dad- but once I come into the picture, he starts acting hungry. I must just look like a giant boob.

Well, let’s see. Where to begin? It’s been about a month since I last blogged (slacker, I know!) and, well, it went by really fast! Not sure where to begin with this one since days and nights seem to fly by in a blur lately!

Sarah is back on her usual days, Tuesdays and Fridays.  I think there’s a good reason that most people don’t aim to have three children, ages 2 and under. Wow. It makes having two seem pretty easy, for a moment at least. They sure keep me busy and the days fly by faster than ever before.  At least the weather is nice and we can break up the day and get outside for a bit. My favorite is when I’ve got the two older kids in the wagon and Westin in the Baby Bjorn and we’re on the walking trail in the back of the neighborhood. Gotta love the people watchers around here. There’s one couple that is super-nice and they were so excited to meet Westin. A woman down the street asked in a “surprised” tone “You had another one?!”  and my personal favorite is the (new? haven’t run into them before recently) family that asked “Oh! How cute! Are they triplets?” Yep! Sure are, and this one {Westin} is the runt! 

More recently, we went the http://www.bye-bye-binky.com/download/Bye-Bye-Binky.pdf (bye-bye-binky) route to get rid of the nighttime/naptime paci.  It’s a week long process and basically you poke pin holes in the pacifier the first two days, followed by snipping the tip (this is where we lost Noah), and then you put a slit in it upwards- I guess is the best way to describe it. Well, we lasted 3 days and when I snipped a hole in the tip, I told Noah he must be too big for pacis and sucked a hole right in the end. Then he wanted to give them to Westin. That night at bedtime, it went pretty OK. It just took longer for him to unwind and get to sleep.  Then the next day happened. It tried my patience like never before. I think part of that might be due to my brilliant, (or not so brilliant, in hindsight) thinking that if I’m already losing sleep from one kid, what’s one more? I might as well lose all my sleep at once, judging from how hard it was for him to fall asleep last time we tried to get rid of the pacifier. I think it was just the overall sleep deprivation from a newborn, coupled with a toddler who replaced his pacifier with needing mommy or daddy to lay with him to fall asleep. Very cute and tempting at first. Not so cute however, at 4 in the morning when he wakes looking for the paci that no longer exists and can’t get back to sleep without you. You, who is crunched for any sort of time to sleep, and JUST (and I do mean just) laid down from putting the little one back to bed and only have an hour until the fun starts for mommy and baby again. This was all after a day of him not napping (try as I might to get him to. Seriously, I could feel myself going gray), going to bed late and waking super early the next day, and me counting my lucky stars, singing my praises and of course facebooking how great the whole “lose the pacifier in a week” plan was going.  All of those things put together = jinxing myself! Sure, the plan looked good on paper, and probably would have worked better if I followed ALL the rules. But when he said he was done (after only one experience with the hole in the top, so like day 3 rather than going through til day 7), I took it away and thought we were scott free! Well, now you would never know that he ever slept with one.  There are still times I don’t think he sleeps quite as long, and there are still times he asks for us to lay with him, but tonight was a good night and tomorrow is another. If this parenting thing isn’t teaching me to go with the flow and at least try to give up some control, I don’t know what will!

As for Westin, well, I feel like I am constantly saying this kid is having a growth spurt! I’m pretty sure eating every hour and a half is not only not ideal, but I’m not sure if it’s too much! I have tried to cut out the snacking that he does, and that doesn’t help. Full feeding or not, this kid can eat. I have tried stretching them to 2 hours from start of one feeding to start of another. If he can be distracted and isn’t screaming  then I’m all for it. Maybe his doctor will have some thoughts when we go on Monday. I can’t wait to see how much he weighs! He is getting cuter by the day, I swear! I LOVE his smiles that we don’t have to work quite so hard for, and the adorable new coo’s that accompany them! It is amazing to me to see how different these boys are already.  Noah had a cry like no other, like someone was de-limbing him every time he cried, even if it was just because he needed a new diaper. I couldn’t eat diary with him, but thank goodness that’s not restricted this time. Noah ate (by bottle or boob) like a champ, and yet little Westin here, well, he takes forever. Westin will also fall asleep rather deeply and not eat anymore, only to change his mind in an hour and a half…Plus, I’m a planner. I like predictability in my day, routine, knowing what comes next. Noah fell very well into his own routine. Things just feel so…up in the air without a routine. I feel like I can’t get him to go long enough between feedings to even try and establish one!

The only constant with him, well with both of them, is just how much I love them and being their mom!!  I love watching personalities develop right before my eyes. I love watching Westin learn “cause and effect” when he kicks the toys on his bouncer and sees them move, and smiles and talks to them. I love hearing Noah recite his prayers at night, and “reading” what he has memorized from the Mickey Mouse book my sister got for him. (Which at this point is really all of “Hi I’m Mickey Mouse” but still! =) He comes up with the funniest things and has such the great imagination and the best laugh. I’m not loving the “No”s that come with the terrible twos, that really haven’t been so terrible, since they are few and far between but he sure is trying to find his way . He has no problem declaring his independence.  Even if it does mean a task takes 3 times as long as if I would help him and even if it means a mess to clean up.

I can’t believe I actually had a chance to write!  Maybe the next one will be sooner than a month from now!!  Stay tuned. I’ve got a baby to feed. Again. =)

More and more mom-like?

OK, so I know having one kid automatically makes you “Mom” pretty much.  In which case, I should be used to this whole mom-thing since I have two years under my belt before having another.  Little did I know how it was possible to become more and more “Mom-like” with each child you have.  Not that that’s bad. My mom is awesome and I aspire to be like her in many ways, yet there is still something surprising and slightly scary(?!) when you hear your mother’s words that were once spoken to you come spewing out of your mouth without any forethought or hesitation.

Example 1: We were driving to Jeremy’s parents house for our Easter visit.  On our way, I got to thinking about how things are now and what if we would have gotten a dog at some point between Harley and now.  Far too much responsibility for now.  Then I say “Boy am I glad we didn’t get a dog back when I thought it was going to be a good idea.” Not that I have anything against dogs, but… well, I’m satisfied with my work load for now as it is.  So then Noah says he wants a dog. Then, without hesitation and without missing a single beat, I feel my mouth open and I hear myself saying the words: “No. Not now. Maybe when you are older and can help take care of it.”  I looked at Jeremy, my eyes wide and my mind completely shocked. It just came out, just like that!

Kind of like Example 2: in the car he asked for something or to go somewhere (I can’t remember for the life of me now what it was now) but then, another Mom-ism: “We’ll see”. In our house, that was always a way of saying no, but not so directly so that the kid throws a fit. 

Like I said, not that it is a bad thing, but just completely surprising. With Mother’s Day approaching, and with each look at and kiss to my boys, I am reminded of how blessed and lucky I am to be “Mom.” Twice over. Maybe someday they will surprise themselves with a “Mom-ism” (or in their case Dad-ism) that Jeremy or I have said many times over the years, giving them the same delightfully jaw-dropping experience in parenthood that I have had the chance to have.

Our First Week Home!

Well, we made it!! After  going into labor earlier than I had planned or thought would happen (was I the only one surprised by this??), Noah having his first surprise sleepover and doing awesome while we were away, and overall just surviving the whole experience, it’s almost been a week of being home, and we made it!  Westin had 3 days of blood tests to keep an eye on his bilirubin levels for jaundice, so like with Noah, the first half of the first week was spent going back and forth to the doctor. Thankfully they’re on their way down, so that’s that. We are all doing very well.  Noah is doing awesome. I was nervous about Jeremy going back to work, and having attention being shared with Noah and how he’d handle it. So far, so good!

Westin is such an easy baby right now! He is up twice a night and really only cries when he’s hungry. Right now, things feel pretty simple and like he’s always been here. I think having Noah, who was in no way as content or as easy, having reflux and a dairy intolerance which made for not only a fussy baby but a very bland diet for mom- and thinking he was a “normal” tempered baby, really makes us see how easy Westin is. Thank goodness! I was nervous about that!

Another thing I was nervous about: Noah. He ended up staying the night at my parents’ house the night Westin was born. He had never stayed anywhere, other than his own bed, over night. He did great. He loved it! It was such a relief and so great to hear. It was great to see him when he came up to the hospital to meet Westin. He looks SO big to me now! So old, his features so mature. I was expecting him to look bigger to me, but I never really thought about how he would suddenly look like a 3 year old to me! He has done absolutely wonderfully with Westin being home. Granted, Jeremy has been home and he’s been getting enough attention, and today my mom came until about noon, then it was nap time. So, we will have to see how the rest of today goes.  I am also ready (and half-expecting) it to be a rough next week or two, or something to not go so smoothly somewhere, but we’ll see. I’m enjoying this easiness while it lasts! Maybe we lucked out and having Sarah here during the week has helped.  He does get upset when Westin cries. He brings him toys and gives him hugs and kisses and tells him to feel better.  He will come up and give him a random hug or kiss, which is great and I just love it! He wanted Westin to lay in his bed last night when we were tucking him in. I hope I’m not jinxing myself, but I am glad, thankful and relieved with how things are.

It’s been a great week. Westin just makes us feel like family, like he’s always been here, or it’s as if he filled a spot we didn’t even know was missing or empty. I love my family.

Really?!

OK, so let me give you some insight to how this pregnancy has been going compared to how I expected, and compared to how it went with Noah.Then I can touch on the excitement of today’s appointment………

Noah’s pregnancy was great. I had no ailments. Morning sickness? What’s that? Fatigue? Nothing that required a mid-day nap at the office. I did have some early contractions, bringing on early maternity leave, but other than that, I fully loved being pregnant and I embraced it, on the off chance that it was the only one I could have, or well, to be honest it made things feel much more bearable! Labor, another good experience. How many people can say that? I scheduled my induction with my OB for my due date, walked into Fairview at 7 AM, started the pitocin and they broke my water at 10:15. Grossest feeling ever. 2:59 I started pushing and 9 minutes later at 3:08, we were officially parents. No epidural, felt good and social after, had him on a Saturday and was home that Sunday night.

Things went so well, we thought “Heck! Let’s do it again!”  Heh. You ever have one of those awesome experiences and then you try and recreate it and it just isn’t the same? Well, that’s where we are now. (Don’t get me wrong- I know how lucky I am to be having another and I am very much in love and excited. Anyway, read on.)  From day one, things were different. I had the morning sickness, and faced many a day with down right fatigue and exhaustion.  Then came the second trimester, where things were supposed to start going better. They didn’t. At least not immediately. I was getting scolded for not gaining enough weight, yet couldn’t because of how crummy, awful and morning sicknessey I felt. I was just trying to get breakfast and lunch on the table for my busy toddler so I’d have a chance to sit down.  Eventually things got better, and along came our ultrasound. We did it. We bit the bullet and went in not knowing what we were going to have, and left just as in the dark but glowing and giddy after seeing our baby on screen. A few weeks later, doctor orders another ultrasound based on my weight gain, or lack there of. And we go, still don’t find out, and we are surprised to hear that baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead and that I had elevated amniotic fluid levels.  Not extremely elevated, just one point above “normal” and of course, needed another ultrasound. So 6 weeks later, I’m back in the hot seat, getting yet another glimpse of the chubbiest baby cheeks I have ever seen. Adorable yes. I can’t say I didn’t think that. Baby also looked rather…grumpy. Not just plain expressionless face, or peaceful sleeping baby face, but scowling grumpy, chubby cheeked and, yes, still adorable, our baby, face. Fluid levels are down to normal, and yet, baby is STILL 2 weeks ahead. OK, so, that’s all fine and good. Until I remember stories about how my husband was a big baby (10+ pounds), and remember that Noah was 8.2- not huge, but above the average 7 or so pounds. Shortly after those thoughts came, well, giving birth, to be honest. I know I can do 8lbs 2 oz, so hopefully we can keep it in the ballpark.  So, still, 5 weeks later, baby is still measuring big. The doctor tells me today at my appointment that if I go full term,(s)he will be bigger than Noah. But I’m not worried, because after all, we are setting my induction date today for 39 weeks sometime, and well, let’s just get this show on the road. Rewinding a bit by two weeks…and I met with another doctor in her practice at 35 weeks because mine was at some sort of OB conference that week.  After talking to this doctor about fast labors and how my first was fast, he tells me I better have a turbo booster on my car- unless my water breaks first, then I should just be ready to deliver wherever I might be (slightly sarcastic, but I guess not much). Great. OK, kind of exciting, but yet another reason I just don’t want to go into labor on my own. Plus, quite frankly, I would rather not sit around and time contractions and wait for them to get close enough and painful enough so I know when to go into the hospital. I would rather go in pain free, get an IV and get my water broken, and find myself in the throes of  rip-roaringly fast and hard labor and just get it over with. Too quickly to even consider an epidural. To me, it just makes much more sense for myself. So, the following week I go and “Oh, doctor’s on call so she’s not here. We are just going to not call you and have you come in anyway.” Courteous. And, of course I have had a week to think about what the previous doctor and I talked about, get myself nervous about that, and have a mental list of questions I would like answered. Oh yeah, and to set an induction date for week 39..maybe 38 if I can reallly press my luck. In fact,  I had even come to my doctor’s appointment armed with 38 of the best you’ve ever tasted oatmeal raisin cookies-thanks to my dad, thinking it would do the trick and MAYBE get me 38 weeks and 6 days. Well, without a doctor to, um, “check things out” and to give the go-ahead to get an induction scheduled, I basically made an office staff that I have not been fond of the past few weeks, happy and full with oatmealey raisiney delight. Thankfully Doctor got some too-was told about how there were 38 cookies for 38 weeks and well, so it wasn’t totally a bust. BUT none the less, I wait another week for answers. So……today was the big day. The day I get my questions answered, find out if and how….”things are progressing”down where they need to…if you will, and, oh yeah, let’s not forget-my induction date. So, after talking to the doctor about how contractioney I have been lately, but at this stage of the game it’s normal, so just wait til they are 5 min apart for an hour, this baby will be at least 8 pounds 2 ounces, no doubt more if I go full term- both of these conversations going in one ear and out the other not only because I’ve heard it before, but because I’m getting induced at the end of April, so why worry? My biggest thought at this moment, in her office, is am I dilating, am I ‘favorable” for inducing, and how can I make it work around Easter so I’m not in the hospital for Easter service, as well as Noah’s big morning after the bunny comes, yet wanting the very soonest date possible providing “conditions are favorable” (OK, I’m not going to sugar coat it, obviously this could be TMI, we’re talking pregnancy and childbirth here, so consider yourself warned, and dare I mention the word “dilation” or mention “centimeters”. Though, to me, neither are graphic, just a tad…personal.  There you have it. If you get worked up or grossed out about such things, move on. Nuff said) anyhow, I remembered from Noah’s induction that I needed to be at least 2 cm to be considered “favorable”, and a few other things come into play, but I can’t remember specifics. Anyway, when I come to learn that I’m just about at a 3, I get really excited, slightly nervous….isn’t 4 considered “active” labor? And, if a patient has a history of “fast labors” wouldn’t this be possibly of concern? Well, no worries, right? Because the last week of April will come and I will be induced and it will go even faster and easier than the first (or so they say about second/subsequent births)….So, she tells the nurse to check the schedule as to when would be a good date to set AFTER 39 weeks. Apparently they are very hell-bent, stubborn, strict and set on not even 38 weeks and 6 days. Must be after 39. So, OK, while she’s out there scheduling I’m looking at the calendar thinking “Next week is my last full week of being pregnant!” and I wonder what day she’ll give me, and so forth. Well, the nurse, who had happened to slightly get on my nerves the week prior, and is telling me how she ate so many cookies before the doctor even came in that day-but don’t worry, she told her 38 and yadda…. (Um….they were for the DOCTOR……) and me having tunnel vision and not in the mood for any funny business this week, comes in and tells me the first date they have available….and here it is. Ready? It’s a shocker! May FIFTH!! And why not? Because my due date is May 1, and for the last 3 weeks I’ve been hearing they’ll do 39 weeks, but no sooner. Later? did not even occur to me. May was not even on my radar.By May 1, I was supposed to be holding our baby in my arms.  Or, is it because I’m measuring 2 weeks ahead, so pushing me back 5 days just makes sense. OR–wait, I’ve got another! OR is it because I have babies fast and I’m already almost 3, so what the heck? Let’s make it a red-light-runable drive for the heck of it if I go on my own…Personally, 3 very good reasons to make an exception and take me on 38 weeks and 6 days. I won’t push til midnight. There. How’bout that. Then it’ll be 39 weeks. Nope. May 5th…….really? Oh but don’t worry, they tell me, anything can change. You’ve been put on a waiting list. They schedule 6 inductions per day.  IF those moms go into labor on their own or don’t need the induction, they take someone from the waiting list and bump them up. So what? they are going to call me and say “hey, we’ve got an opening-meet me at Fairview in a half an hour”…apparently it would be a day or two advanced notice. They call every morning and see if there is anything open (in the magical week 39, of course, no sooner, no exceptions) and then I get the call. How is that any different than going into labor on my own? It really isn’t. I’m a person that likes some sort of control in some situations, or to at least feel that I have things somewhat under control, even if I don’t. As long as I can trick myself into thinking it, I’m good. Because, really, technically, they could give me any day for induction and I could go before then on my own. But having that date, that actual date, allows for planning, allows for counting down, and allows for knowing that there is, in fact, an end in sight. Now I’m worse off than when I started! By then I’ll be 40 weeks and 5 days, baby will be even BIGGER- why not go for 9 pounds? That sounds…comfortable….and judging by the contractions I have been having, I’ll be further dilated, and well, we know where that will get us. I-90? I-480? And a spot on the evening news? Not my cup of tea. So, well, there you have it. Now we sit and wait. Perhaps this weekend will be “Wives-Tale Weekend” and with the exception of castor oil, I just might go down the list of any and every old wives tale known to man, make that woman, that just very well could have a chance at starting labor.

Habaneros, anyone?